7 Uncomfortable Truths to Master a Strong Life | AIB
The living is stressful at all levels. Too many influences, too many changes, even if two individuals have been raised on the same roof, and under the same influences, each life will have a completely different direction.
As the saying goes: each teacher has his booklet. There will not be a single teacher of this life who does not have his own tricks and lessons to make the most of it. And even if we gathered all these life lessons in a specialized library, it would still be insufficient knowledge to understand everything that life encompasses.
However, for those impatient readers, there are some realities inherent in life. Some will sound like a truism or, to put it another way, they will be such basic life lessons that it will seem a lie that we have to remind them of someone. But pay attention to me: there is always someone who fell asleep that day in class and did not hear anything.
Here I present the 7 ideas about life that, although uncomfortable, are tremendously liberating when we accept them:
1. People come and go
Each person has an own world, and each life follows a different path. We will meet many people throughout life; Many people will leave, others will stay. Sometimes, it is difficult to decide who is going or who stays. Other times, it will be an element that we can not control.
To this reality joins a psychological and behavioral action as bitter as necessary, almost impossible for many. I mean let go, accepting this reality that people can leave must be felt. We do not want to lose contact with anyone but the moment we assume it, we stop wanting to own people and start to value their companies. And yes, some people have to be relieved if we’re going to move forward in our lives.
2. Learn to take care of yourself
Although two people are raised under the same roof and the same influences, each will have one life entirely different on the other.
What was the first gesture of care you had for yourself? To comb your hair, brush your teeth, bathe …? Yes. These small cleaning rituals that we are taught as children, apart from having a sanitary purpose, also have a message: learn to take care of yourself.
You can believe in the idea that we are alone in this world or, on the contrary, that there is always someone and we all watch over everyone. But if there is a reality that stands out above all that, the moment of truth, you will have to take care of yourself, both physically and psychologically.
Possibly, the greatest act of responsibility that you will have is not with your family or your work, but with yourself. Accept this idea, and you will see how you gain autonomy as well as gain in quality of life. And yes, also in self-realization and happiness.
3. Effortless, there is no reward
An idea that we have repeated since childhood, but accept the reality: today’s society encourages you to resort to immediate reinforcement, to have as many things with minimal effort. The most pessimistic will defend the position that we become more narcissistic and selfish. And the worst is that they may be right if the trend continues like this.
Therefore, remember that no goal is achieved without hard work never hurts. Although more valuable than saying that effort brings reward is to say that the effort itself (in itself) brings reward. Of course, sometimes, it’s not about the reward we expect. Therefore, it is also smart to know how to manage this effort properly.
4. Pain is part of life
Pain is inevitable and, sometimes, necessary. Never forget it: it is an essential feeling in life.
And we get another modern lesson: the current life is hedonistic. We seek pleasure and minimum of pain. Although it is a fundamental principle of survival, the approach is what gives us pleasure, and away from what hurts us. There will be things that hurt and we will make mistakes that will make us suffer. And all the above is part of life as much as pleasure.
We can feel the pain and learn to value situations from another prism. Pain is inevitable. Sometimes, necessary. Suffering is also required to overcome certain tests. All this hardens you and makes you have greater resilience. Of course, a prolonged voluntary suffering does not contribute anything. That is said for the voluntary sufferers.
5. Stability vs. change
It is interesting to review the speeches of people when they define happiness. Soon after you investigate you will realize that many associate their happiness with stability and possession: “I am happy because I am married, I have a son, I have a stable job, I have a house …”. The human being tends to have a sense of continuity in his perception of things. It is clear. Otherwise, we would not be able to recognize each other every morning. But this sense of continuity is also sought in reality. Corresponds to a need for control. But, unfortunately, life is a constant change.
We are not here to “stabilize” life but to adapt to it. We are also agents of change.
6. The uncontrollable sense of control
This lesson of life is closely linked to the previous one. Regardless of whether we are obsessive of control or not, we always look for the possibility of wanting to control the maximum number of possible variables. The expression “I control the situation! Cheat a lot actually, we will never control it. At most, we will have so vivid certain situations that we simply react instantly to any unforeseen event. We do not control the situation, we “adapt” to it with more agility.
At the moment when we are aware that absolute control is an illusion, then we will begin to trust and refine our abilities more. The greater the feeling of internal control, the less important it is to find control outside.
7. Overvalue values
Love, friendship, justice, freedom … are constructs that do not have a physical or psychic representation per se but do not stop being real. The problem of embracing these universal values is not in the values themselves, but in the meaning that we want to give or in the bad definition we have. That is why we have worn couples in the name of an ideal fairy tale love that does not get anywhere. Or young people advocating misunderstood social justice. Or the infinite definitions that each liberator of freedom makes.
No principle is so noble as not to allow revisions. And the reality is too complicated to understand everything through a single definition. Be flexible and learn continuously, add new details to the definition of your personal values because every new detail outlines a better value as a person.
These are only 7 realities that accompany us in life. Of course, there are many more. Life and existence are too complex and extensive to summarize them all in a single post or even in a single book. But nothing can replace one’s experiences.
And you? What other truth would you add to this list?