Let’s face it. It is almost impossible for everyone to like you. Although making friends is not the primary job of a boss, getting along with 1 or 2 employees can interfere with your work. When someone does not like you, you do not have the same predisposition or attitude to motivate them, which will affect the rest of the team, the projects, and the overall work environment.
Be aware of your thoughts and feelings first. If the phrases “I can not stand it,” “It makes me furious” are always in your head you must change your way of thinking. Recognize that anger, frustration or trust is a reaction that is born of you and that only you have the power to make you feel something. Find out why you react like this and get to the root of the problem. Own your emotions once you are clear about what makes you behave like this, follow these strategies:
If you are uncomfortable with an employee, increase your time with him
It may sound contradictory, but when someone does not like you, you try to avoid it in all possible ways. Imagine how demoralizing it must be for an employee that his boss does not even look at him! You need to create more opportunities to be together and thus get to know each other more thoroughly.
This will benefit you in two ways. First, you will get used to their peculiarities, which will make you feel more comfortable with them. And secondly you will learn what you did not like about him/her, and so you can take advantage of that knowledge as a source of your motivation.
Try to start a conversation by saying: “You and I have not had the opportunity to know each other more. What are the most important things that you think I should know about you?
Focus on positive habits
If you consistently focus on what you want to change the other person will be a constant disappointment to both. Redirect your attention to what you like, think of a trait or habit of that person (s) that has impressed you, even if it was exaggerated at that time. Is it a favorite among your customers? Does your way of doing things draw attention? Pay more attention to the positive aspects you want to encourage.
The employee will be motivated to hear how the team values their strengths to be successful. Imagine a salesperson being aggressive with customers. If you rethink prepotency as persistence, you’ll be encouraging that negative behavior to reverse when you start a conversation.
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You could say something like “I’ve been watching you today, and I’ve seen that you really give everything to you. I admire your persistence. At the same time, I realized that it does not seem to work with everyone. When do you think it’s better not to use it with someone a second time? ”
If you think your employee (s) behaves disrespectfully, get to the root of their behavior
You can’t change the bad behavior of your employee unless you have a bit of empathy. Most bad behavior does not have a destructive intention, and it is self-protection. Find out what that person is trying to protect. Ask open-ended questions such as, “Does something happen?” “What worries you?” “What made you blow up?” When you find out what’s behind that bad behavior, you’ll have a better vision of how to motivate good behavior.
For example, if you discover a self-esteem problem, you can determine that an employee needs more attention or that he/she could react better to small, manageable reinforcements that allow room for their growth without taking unnecessary risks. Regardless of the source of your employee’s malaise, it will be difficult for him to be motivated until he can improve his connection to the company.
It is not your job to be the best friend of all. But if a sour relationship is affecting your ability to motivate an employee, the risk of failure will pass so that you will fail too. Keep a pleasant climate among your employees, and you will save many troubles.