Self-esteem is one of the issues most discussed in recent years in the scientific research, considering that healthy self-esteem favors the well-being of the person in general, improving the relationship established with itself, with others and with the environment.
In this sense, good self-esteem, linked to emotional stability and the search for inner strengthening, implies adequate management of the daily demands of our life and therefore we all need proper management of stress. The good news is that self-esteem can be strengthened in each person, with positive attitudes that allow you to face reality with optimism and with the development of adequate strategies to handle the difficulties that arise.
Stress is presented as a factor that hinders the possibilities of response to the problems or conflicts we face. Stress reactions block us from the demands of the situation because we anticipate the results of an action negatively. Or by focusing on the potentially threatening situation, our response system is blocked and prevents us from making reasoned decisions to overcome difficulties.
A person with high self-esteem develops skills that allow him, rationally and realistically, to recognize the possibilities of action that he can have to respond in a relevant way to situations, with the confidence of obtaining what he wants. If this is not the case, when the results do not match the effort made, assume the fact with a learning attitude and prepare in a better way for new opportunities.
Stress and low self-esteem, an unhealthy combination
People who have low self-esteem, tend to undervalue and minimize the perception of their abilities in the face of situations that live in their daily lives. In general, they have negative anticipations of the events and consider themselves inferior to other people, which leads to a permanent feeling of uneasiness and a sense of disability.
If coupled with this, there are high levels of stress, and a mixed picture appears in which the mood decrease due to low self-esteem is joined by a glimpse of anxiety characterized by a permanent concern about the future, with negative predictions before the tasks that are undertaken. The person then suffers, not only for perceiving himself inferior but for anticipating that in the works he undertakes he will have negative results.
The primary objective to overcome this situation is to achieve strengthening personal skills for stress management. The person must learn to recognize himself in potentialities, strengths, and virtues, believe in himself, in his capacities and limitations, and act by this. If you feel that a situation exceeds your coping possibilities, it is preferable to seek the necessary help in the environment, to cope. It must be learned that anticipatory anxiety is dysfunctional as it clouds us before the possibilities of facing a situation, blocking our thoughts, our attention, which obscures us the possibility of finding solutions to the problems we face.
The six pillars of self-esteem
Self-esteem has a direct link with the perception we have of ourselves, as it forms a kind of image that defines us in self-perception. From the way we see ourselves, we will configure the reality of our environment. If you see yourself as a vulnerable person, then you will see the world as dangerous and others as threatening … from the thoughts of self-reference, the reality is shaped.
That is why it is important that from a young age we teach our kids to be safe, responsible, autonomous, with self-confidence and with the ability to solve for themselves.
The six pillars that define healthy self-esteem:
It implies becoming aware of oneself, of potentialities, possibilities, and limitations. It is to recognize the vital purposes of each one and to know what orientation one wants to give to one’s existence.
It must be based on the premise that being us is enough to value ourselves as people and accept ourselves as such. Personal valuation should not depend on the acceptance of others but our own.
To think that we are responsible for ourselves is to assume the reins of our life. I own my circumstances, and that should lead me to assume that I am accountable for assuming everything that happens to me with attitudes of learning in every moment of life.
It is the need for personal recognition, to assume as a person in law and ability to relate harmoniously with each other, with others and with the world. It is the perception of my potentials and capacities to influence the environments in which we move decisively.
Defining personal purposes is a way to make sense of life. The goals should lead our lives toward expected achievements that allow us to grow as people.
It is related to the existing agreement between the principles, values and fundamental convictions with the behaviors and actions of the person. To be whole is to act by one’s philosophy of life and to proclaim only that which pertains to the morality of the person.
Stress is presented as a phenomenon that affects self-esteem, making it difficult to assume adaptive coping strategies in the face of the daily difficulties that arise. Likewise, low self-esteem can lead to high levels of stress due to the low self-confidence of the person, which leads to feelings of failure and inadequacy.
To overcome this multiple problem, each person must begin with a process of self-recognition, where they realize their potential, limitations, and conditions, and act realistically with it. In general, we have negative anticipations in front of facts that we perceive as threatening and when we finally face them, we realize that fear was greater than our potential and that we did have tools to overcome the fact.
It is possible that sometimes we have to face situations that seem to overwhelm our capacities, or that we realize that alone we cannot overcome a situation. When this happens, it is convenient to turn to others and support us to alleviate our burdens, without falling into negative dependencies that affect our autonomy.
We are beings destined to confront adverse situations on a daily basis. Trying to avoid the problems that are part of our daily life is a factor in maintaining them. It’s a matter of faith and decision.